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Dweenle
A pale race of short, hairless humanoids, the Dweenle have been in space longer than any other race, save perhaps the Uhlek. Seemingly always depressed, they are universally unpopular due to their endless suicidal rambling. The oldest race in the Delta Sector, they have survived the possession of the ancient Leghk, the wave of flaring stars caused by the Crystal Planet, and more recently, the hostile attentions of the Umanu and G'Nunk- ironic, given their often repeated death wish. Notably, they are the only extant race known to be native to the Delta Sector. However, despite all of their faults, the Dweenle do buy and sell several valuable trade goods, and as such are an important commercial interest to the Sector. Basic Characteristics *''Type'': Pathetic *''Durability'': 4 *''Learning Rate'': 2 *''Science: Average *Navigation: Average *Tactical: Average *Engineering: Poor *Communication: Excellent *Medicine: Good *''Genders: 2 *''Life Stages'': Adolescent at 3 years. Adult at 7 years. Middle age at 12 yrs. Old Age at 20 years. Venerable Age at 26 years. *''Lifespan'': 28 + 2d5 years. *''Height'': 1.0 meters; 0.7 + 1d5 x 0.1 m *''Mass'': 10 kilograms; 7.5 + (same 1d5 from height + 1d5 ) x 0.5 kg *''Niche/Symmetry'': Omnivorous Bilateral Consumer *''Speed/Transit'': Biped, 4 m/rd (2 kph) *''Volume'': 0.01 m^3 *''HD'': 51/45/51 *''HP'': 40 *''Unarmed Damage'': None *''STV'': 1 MU (100 MU/m^3) Physical Description The Dweenle vaguely resemble extremely short, paunchy humans with pale skin, huge eyes, and spindly limbs. Their faces are somewhat similar to that of humans, with the eye, ear and mouth placement corresponding exactly to Homo sapiens; they do not, however, have noses, and therefore possess no sense of smell. Their faces are very flat and pallid, and their eyes are extremely large and have significant bags under them. They have tiny ears and tight, small mouths. They have two spindly arms that terminate in four digits (which they use for manipulation), and walk on two very short, thin legs which end in broad, flat feet. Their torsos are pear-shaped, and their spinal columns attach to the rear of their skulls, rather than the base, as in a Human. This physical feature gives them the appearance of peering forward intently, an impression magnified by their large eyes. They tend to be only about one meter in height and to weigh only about 10 kg. Given their slight stature and soft bodies, it should not be a surprise that they have a relatively low durability; furthermore, given their disinterest nearly every subject of discourse, it should also be no surprise that their learning rate is very low. The Dweenle are onmivorous, and will buy several other plant and animal species in trade in addition to their coveted Nid Berries. The Dweenle tend to be a listless race, and much of their daily lives do not adhere to any rigid schedule. They fall asleep whenever even remotely tired (the better to escape the world with all itís cruelties), eat whenever hungry (as evidenced by their stunning physiques), and procreate in the same manner in which they do everything else - joylessly. Space Units Dweenle Transport Ground Units This gives a general listing of the vehicles available to the given race. Engaging the ground units of a species in combat will have the same general effect on the player's relations with the species as engaging their units in space. The mineral composition of ground units will be the same as that listed for space units, though the amounts will be somewhat lessened. Indication of "turrets" for a ground unit allow the unit to fire a weapon in any direction; otherwise, the unit must face their target before they may attack another unit. Ground units always include a very generic description of how the unit will appear. Ground Units in general use the same ratings as space units, but have a few additional properties as outlined below: * Still need a response on energy. **''Melee'': An attack that can only be delivered when that object's collision area is touching the collision area of its target. **''Flat'': The speed/efficiency the unit travels on flat land. **''Mount'': The speed/efficiency the unit travels on steep mountains. This will likely be determined by rapid changes in planetary elevation, though the exact amount of elevation change necessary has not yet been determined. **''Liquid'' The speed/efficiency the unit travels on a liquid surface (possibly also including ice and cooling lava.) No Data Available at this time. Territory The Dweenle possess a large fleet, mostly because they build ships simply for lack of anything better to do. They can be found in high concentrations in the Upspin, Outward corner of the Sector, with their primary basing centered on the Hook constellation, though they are also found in smaller numbers in the unnamed constellation that encompasses the Export and Chichifa systems. Limited Dweenle encounters could also be found short distances into the Cloud Nebula even when the Umanu were possessed; now that they have been freed, the Dweenle are less cautious about venturing into the Cloud. However, even with a period of peace settling on the Delta Sector, most do not expect any expansion on the part of the Dweenle, simply because they've never ventured far from their current locale- significantly, when the Buttershark traveled through the anomaly to a time a million years in the past, it reported the Dweenle to be in almost exactly the same spot they inhabit in the present day. *'Patrol': **''Alpha Sector'': None **''Delta Sector'': Prominent **''Beta Sector'': None *'Space': **''Alpha Sector'': No Sphere of Influence **''Delta Sector'': centered around 54x195, 44.72 parsecs radius; centered around 12x205, 44.13 parsecs radius; centered around 91x211, 41.79 parsecs radius. **''Beta Sector'': No Sphere of Influence *'Star': **''Alpha Sector'': None **''Delta Sector'': 12x205, 47x210, 54x195, 60x156, 91x211 **''Beta Sector'': None *'Worlds': **''Alpha Sector'': None **''Delta Sector'': Dweenle One (54x195, p6); Dweenle Two (12x205, p4); Dweenle Three (91x211, p8) **''Beta Sector'': None Status According to both themselves and the Humna Humna, the Dweenle have been slaves to almost every other race in the Delta Sector at some point. In each case, the Dweenle proved to be so inefficient and depressing that the other races decided to grant them their freedom. Usually, such action occurred against the backdrop of talk by the former masters of eradicating them altogether, but in the end this was always decided to "just not be worth the effort". As might be expected given their constant suicidal and fatalistic talk, the Dweenle are not especially popular, a fact to which they readily admit. Called "loathsome" by the Tandelou, "pathetic" by the Humna Humna, and even viewed with skepticism by the usually-charitable Arla, the Dweenle are simply not well-liked. Most races, though, tolerate them, and do not accept their constant offers to shoot at them. One notable exception is the G'Nunk, who have a great deal of "love" for the Dweenle. As according to G'Nunk philosophy, their exceptional, exceeding love and compassion require the G'Nunk to destroy Dweenle ships whenever possible, so as to help elevate them out of G'Noon status, where they seem permanently parked. The Dweenle represent something of a puzzle to the G'Nunk, as they have managed to survive for millions of years despite possessing no survival instinct at all. As for the Spemin, for the most part, the two races had no interaction during the blob race's sojourn in the Delta Sector, though given the Spemin's bullying ways, the relationship would have be characterized as hostile. This is not to say that all Dweenle diplomacy is completely hopeless. In fact, several of the more noble races, whether through pity or sympathy, have made positive contacts with them in the past. In ancient times, the Leghk befriended them, even going so far as to give them things (this might explain how the Dweenle acquired starfaring technology in the first place) and keeping them abreast to the developments in the war against the Uhl's Leghk. Much later on, the Lowar were also kind to them, informing them of their researches on the Leghk and even occasionally procuring Nid Berries for them. More recently, the Empire has established diplomatic ties with them, though this is mostly symbolic, as the Empire realizes the Dweenle have little to offer beyond commercial interest. The Alpha Sector races have probably been a net positive to the Dweenle overall. The Humans treat them with a modicum of tolerance and respect, and the Veloxi definitely tolerate them, though perhaps respect would be going too far. To the Thrynn, however, the Dweenle epitomize weakness and, since they have no allies or military forces, are therefore useless. According to Thrynn philosophy, this requires the Dweenle to die for the betterment of the strong. While the Thrynn are not dogmatic about this, and do not especially seek the Dweenle out for destruction, if the mopey race rudely pulls them out of hyperspace and begs to be put out of their misery, the Thrynn will certainly oblige them. The Elowan, like their lost Lowarian cousins, sympathize with the Dweenle, though given the dire straights the Elowan find themselves in, there is not much they can do to further the relationship. Though there has been no Gazurtoid/Dweenle contact, it can be surmised that their first impression would not be a postive one, given the Dweenle's air-breathing nature. *'Ally': **''Initial'': None **''Final'': None *'Enemy': **''Initial'': G'Nunk, Ancients **''Final'': G'Nunk Economy *'Economic Status Levels': **''Dweenle One'': Depressed **''Dweenle Two'': Depressed **''Dweenle Three'': Depressed *'Specialty Trade Goods Purchased': **Amusoballs (Dweenle One*; δ54x195, p6) **Amusoballs (Dweenle Two*; δ12x205, p4) **Amusoballs (Dweenle Three*; δ91x211, p8) **Flanzog Pillows (Dweenle Two; δ12x205, p4) *'Specialty Trade Goods Sold': **Godmasks (Dweenle One; δ54x195, p6) **Lovely Glortblorps (Dweenle One; δ54x195, p6) **Lovely Glortblorps (Dweenle Two; δ12x205, p4) **Lovely Glortblorps (Dweenle Three; δ91x211, p8) **Nutripods (Dweenle One; δ54x195, p6) **Nutripods (Dweenle Two; δ12x205, p4) **Nutripods (Dweenle Three; δ91x211, p8) Supplemental Information Uncharitable cultural anthropologists say that the Dweenle have no personality whatsoever. While this is not necessarily true, it is accurate to say that all Dweenle are almost always suicidally depressed. They have no art or literature to speak of, which they attribute to finding each other's company too depressing to tolerate. The one form of cultural expression of the Dweenle are the long, oral histories they pass from generation to generation in song form. Even these the Dweenle find depressing, and note that other species who listen to them usually either fall asleep or become suicidal themselves. Despondency seems to be in a Dweenle's very nature, and at times they seem to take measures to ensure they stay morosely depressed. As one example, they state that they hate cold climates, yet all three of their inhabited worlds are ice planets, despite knowing of several other colonizable worlds in their region; for another, they will buy Amusoballs in trade, despite viewing them as worthless and having "rooms filled with them" already. The one positive event that they actually seem to encourage is the consumption of Nid Berries. The Berries, which grow in the Arrow Cluster, are the one thing that actually seem to make them "happy", though that is a somewhat relative term; what other races term "mild depression" is probably about as close to happy as the Dweenle really get. Significantly, Nid Berries also make the Dweenle much more cooperative and willing to answer questions. Whether this is because of some chemical property of the Berries or a mere psychological affectation of the Dweenle is not immediately clear. Aside from a craving for Nid Berries, it is unclear what motivates the Dweenle to travel through space... or do anything at all, for that matter. As they mention that they build ships to stave off boredom, it is possible they engage in star flight simply to keep their ships from going to waste, as they certainly do not use them to collect Nid Berries for themselves. It is also possible that the Dweenle travel simply as a method of staving off boredom in and of itself, or even view it as a more likely way of meeting one's death. Importance The Dweenle know of an ancient riddle which, with enough Nid Berries, they'll just happen to remember. This riddle is the clue the player needs to know where to activate the Archive Teleporter, allowing the player to gain access to Leghkian Sun Bomb, one of the mission-critical artifacts. Aside from this part in the overall game quest, the Dweenle's usefulness is limited to that of a trading partner and information about the region's past. Communication Text As with all other starfaring Delta Sector races, these messages are from SF2; they are being kept for comms analysis and as a starting point for composition of any new messages for SF3. The Dweenle are unique in that they could be encountered in both the past and present. Both sets of messages are presented herein. The Present Neutral Hail: *NOT THAT IT MAKES THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF DIFFERENCE, BUT THIS IS COMMANDER (NAME) OF THE DWEENLE SHIP (SHIP NAME). I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE. IF YOU WANT TO RESPOND GO AHEAD, IF YOU DON'T IT'S NOT GOING TO KILL ME. *PLEASE DON'T FEEL OBLIGATED TO RESPOND. WE UNDERSTAND THAT NO ONE WANTS TO TALK TO US. WHY SHOULD THEY? MOST OTHER RACES JUST COME HERE FOR A LITTLE TARGET PRACTICE. *THIS IS COMMANDER (NAME) OF THE SHIP (SHIP NAME), NOT THAT I EVER WANTED THIS JOB, ANYWAY. COME TO THINK OF IT, THERE WEREN'T ANY JOBS I WANTED TO DO. IT'S ALL SO POINTLESS, DON'T YOU THINK? *WELL, YOU HAVEN'T STARTED SHOOTING AT US, SO I SUPPOSE YOU PROBABLY WANT TO TALK. I GUESS I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO RIGHT NOW. THIS IS CAPTAIN (NAME)-PLEASE DON'T FEEL YOU NEED TO RESPOND. Friendly Hail: *OH, WONDERFUL COMMANDER (PLAYER NAME). YOU HAVE RETURNED TO BRING US MORE NID BERRIES. HALLELUJAH! YOU ARE SO CONSIDERATE. I TOLD THE OTHERS YOU WOULD BE BACK WITH MORE. HURRAH! HURRAH! *WELCOME BACK, COMMANDER (PLAYER NAME). WE'RE AS HAPPY TO SEE YOU AS WE EVER ARE TO SEE ANYBODY. Hostile Hail: *THIS IS CAPTAIN (NAME). OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVE EVERY INTENTION OF DESTROYING US. NOW WHY DOESN'T THIS SURPRISE ME. PERHAPS YOU WOULD HONOR US WITH THE PRIVILEGE OF TALKING TO YOU BEFORE YOU BLAST US. *THIS IS THE DWEENLE SHIP (SHIP NAME). SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY OR YOUR SHIP WILL BE ANNIHILATED. WAIT A MINUTE.... WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS, SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY OR OUR SHIP WILL BE ANNIHILATED. Neutral Response: *ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, BUT DON'T EXPECT ME TO TALK TOO LONG-I'M REALLY NOT FEELING VERY WELL TODAY. OH, I KNOW, I KNOW, YOU COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT HOW I FEEL. EXCUSE ME FOR LIVING. *THIS IS COMMANDER (NAME). PERHAPS I SHOULD TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO ENJOY TALKING TO US. NO ONE EVER DOES. WE UNDERSTAND. WE DON'T ENJOY TALKING TO EACH OTHER, EITHER. *RIGHT, AND I'M COMMANDER (NAME)-BIG DEAL. I SUPPOSE NOW YOU'LL EXPECT ME TO ANSWER LOTS OF UNINTERESTING QUESTIONS. MY FEELING IS WHY WASTE THE EFFORT WHEN WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE, ANYWAY. Friendly Response: *AH, COMMANDER (PLAYER NAME), AND YOU HAVE BROUGHT YOUR NICE SHIP (PLAYER SHIP NAME)! HOW IS YOUR WONDERFUL CREW? CAN IT BE THAT YOU REALLY DO LIKE US? OF COURSE, IF YOU DO, YOU WILL HAVE BROUGHT MORE BERRIES. *IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN, COMMANDER (PLAYER NAME). I AM (NAME). OF COURSE, YOU WON'T REMEMBER ME. PROBABLY TO YOU, ALL DWEENLE LOOK ALIKE. WELL, DON'T FEEL BAD, WE CAN'T TELL EACH OTHER APART, EITHER. Farewell Statement (Neutral/Hostile): *IMMENSE DEPRESSION DESCENDS UPON ME. I CAN'T GO ON. IN POETIC DISPAIR I DRIFT AWAY. *THIS DOESN'T MATTER. NOTHING MATTERS. I'M LEAVING. *WELL, I GUESS WE'LL GO NOW. DON'T WORRY ABOUT US, WE'LL GET ALONG SOMEHOW. AND SO WHAT IF WE DON'T. WHO CARES. Farewell Statement (Friendly): *YOU HAVE BEEN SO GOOD AND KIND TO US. THANK YOU FOR PITYING US. WE WON'T KEEP YOU ANY LONGER. Statements (Neutral): *I DON'T MEAN TO BE PARTICULARLY NEGATIVE, BUT I THINK THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. ON THE OTHER HAND, THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW. *YOU DON'T REALLY BELIEVE THAT ANY OF THIS STUFF REALLY MATTERS, DO YOU? OH, I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE IT'S JUST ME THAT DOESN'T MATTER. *IF ONLY YOU COULD PROVE THAT YOU SOMEHOW LIKED US. THEN WE COULD FINALLY TELL SOMEONE ALL OF THE VALUABLE INFORMATION THAT WE KNOW. IF ONLY... BUT NO, I GUESS I'M JUST TALKING CRAZY. OF COURSE YOU HATE US. *PROBABLY YOU'RE WONDERING WHY ALL THREE OF OUR HOME PLANETS ARE ICE WORLDS WHEN WE DWEENLE HATE THE COLD AND COULD EASILY MOVE. ON THE OTHER HAND, MAYBE YOU WEREN'T WONDERING. MAYBE YOU COULDN'T CARE LESS IF WE'RE MISERABLE. *PLEASE DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU NEED TO STAY AND TALK WITH US. I'M SURE YOU'VE GOT MANY MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO. *PERHAPS YOU COULD COME BACK LATER WHEN I'M IN A BETTER MOOD. WAIT A MINUTE. I AM IN A BETTER MOOD. WELL, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO COME BACK AT ALL THATS O.K. IN FACT, MAYBE THATS BEST. *ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE INTERESTED IN ANY OF THIS? Statements (Hostile): *GO AHEAD, SHOOT US. YOU WERE GOING TO ALL ALONG, ANYWAY. *SEE? WE TOLD YOU YOU HATED US. FINE, DESTROY US-WHO CARES? IF YOU DON'T, SOMEONE ELSE WILL. *WAIT! DON'T DESTROY US YET. LET ME CALL MORE OF OUR SHIPS HERE, SO YOU CAN WIPE OUT OUR ENTIRE RACE AT ONCE. *UNDOUBTEDLY WE'VE DONE SOMETHING TO PROVOKE YOU. GO AHEAD AND BLAST US, WE DESERVE IT. *I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'D WANT TO BE HOSTILE. AFTER ALL, WITHOUT SHIELDS OR WEAPONS, WE MUST REPRESENT QUITE A THREAT TO YOU. MAYBE TO BE SAFE, YOU'D BETTER DESTROY US NOW. *NO SENSE IN PROLONGING THIS. YOU MAY AS WELL GO AHEAD AND DESTROY US NOW. I'M SURE YOU HAVE A BUSY SCHEDULE. *RIGHT, WE'RE REALLY SCARED. BIG DEAL. GO AHEAD AND SHOOT US. SURE, YOU MAY DESTROY US, BUT WE'LL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH BECAUSE YOU'LL HAVE WASTED YOUR ENERGY. *GO AHEAD AND BLAST US. WE'LL BE BETTER OFF. EVERYONE HATES US. GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD! FAREWELL CAPRICIOUS WINDS OF FATE! ADIEU MALICIOUS GODS OF FORTUNE! *O.K. SHOOT NOW. FAREWELL! SO LONG! O.K. FIRE. GOODBYE, GOODBYE! AU REVOIR! WELL? THAT IS WHAT YOU INTEND ISN'T IT? *I'LL BET YOU WOULD NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS TAKE ON A DWEENLE AS A CREWMEMBER ON YOUR SHIP, SINCE YOU DESPISE US SO MUCH. I CERTAINLY DON'T BLAME YOU. I HATE HAVING US ON OUR SHIP. IF YOU HAD THE CHANCE YOU WOULDN'T, WOULD YOU? PROBABLY NOT. Statements (Friendly): *THANK YOU, THANK YOU. YOU ARE TOO KIND. PLEASE ACCEPT THIS SHYNEUM. *HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE KNOWN THAT WE LIKED NID BERRIES? YOUR RACE MUST BE TELEPATHIC. *YOU MUST LIKE US, AFTER ALL. HOW WONDERFUL. NOW YOU CAN COME AND LIVE WITH US- UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU REALLY DO HATE US. *WE WILL PRAISE YOUR KINDNESS AND WORSHIP YOU FOR CENTURIES. ALRIGHT, SO MAYBE THAT'S AN EXAGGERATION, BUT I'M SURE THE BERRIES WERE VERY GOOD-NOT THAT I GOT ANY MYSELF. *I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY YOU WOULD CARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST, OR FOR THAT MATTER, THE PRESENT OR THE FUTURE, BUT IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, I SUPPOSE I MIGHT BE ABLE TO REMEMBER A FEW THINGS. *LET'S NOT TALK. LET'S JUST ENJOY BEING TOGETHER...FRIEND. *BY THE WAY, FRIENDS BRING OTHER FRIENDS MORE NID BERRIES. Questions: *YOU HAVE BROUGHT US NID BERRIES AND PROVEN THAT YOU LOVE US. OH, THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY I COULD ALMOST SMILE. YOU DO LOVE US, DON'T YOU? *NOW, BE HONEST. I BET YOU FIND US JUST A LITTLE DEPRESSING TO TALK TO. AM I RIGHT? GO AHEAD, TELL THE TRUTH. DON'T WORRY ABOUT HURTING OUR FEELINGS. *OF COURSE YOU HATE US, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, BUT IF, HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, YOU WERE OFFERED THE CHANCE TO PROVE THAT YOU LIKED US, WOULD YOU DO IT? IF YOU DID LIKE US I MEAN, WHICH OF COURSE YOU DON'T, BUT IF YOU DID? Question (if Nid Berries aboard player's ship): *WE PERCEIVE THAT YOU HAVE SOME NID BERRY BUSHES. WOULD YOU BE SO KIND AS TO GIVE THEM TO US? Question (if Nid Berries not aboard player's ship, but have been in the past): *PERHAPS THE NID BERRIES WERE JUST A CRUEL TRICK TO TOY WITH OUR DELICATE EMOTIONS. I SUPPOSE NOW YOU'LL JUST BLOW US UP AND HAVE A GOOD LAUGH. OR MAYBE YOU'D LIKE US TO JUST KILL OURSELVES AND SAVE YOU THE TROUBLE. WOULD YOU LIKE THAT? Offer Crewmen Exchange: *PROBABLY THE LAST THING YOU WANT IS TO HAVE A DWEENLE ON YOUR CREW, BUT IF YOU WANTED TO, WE COULD EXCHANGE CREWMEMBERS. DON'T WORRY ABOUT HURTING OUR FEELINGS BY SAYING NO, MAYBE WE'LL JUST GO KILL OURSLEVES. SIGH. WELL? WHAT DO YOU SAY? Awaiting Response: *NOT THAT I CARE ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, BUT AN ANSWER OF SOME SORT MIGHT BE NICE. *DON'T RUSH YOURSELF. *ANY TIME NOW IS O.K. Themselves: *YOU DON'T HAVE TO ASK ABOUT US TO TRY TO MAKE US FEEL GOOD. WE EXPECT YOU TO DESPISE US, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. IN FACT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST OPEN FIRE ON US NOW AND GET THIS OVER WITH. *IF YOU INSIST, I SUPPOSE THERE ARE ONE OR TWO THINGS I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT US, BUT IT'S REALLY VERY DEPRESSING. FEEL FREE TO JUST LEAVE IF YOU GET TOO BORED. *WE DWEENLE HAVE BEEN AROUND FOR A VERY LONG TIME. IN FACT, IT SEEMS LIKE FOREVER. BY ALL ODDS, WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN WIPED OUT MILLENIA AGO. WHO KNOWS WHY WE SURVIVED-IN FACT, WHO CARES? *WE DON'T HAVE A CULTURE, EXACTLY. WE DWEENLE FIND IT TOO DEPRESSING TO BE WITH EACH OTHER. WE DON'T HAVE ANY ART OR LITERATURE, BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO EXPRESS. THE ONLY REASON THAT WE TRADE OR BUILD SPACESHIPS IS BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO. *THE ONLY HISTORY OR TRADITION WE HAVE IS PASSED ALONG ORALLY, THROUGH SONG. THESE SONGS ARE GENERALLY SO LONG AND SO DEPRESSING THAT NO RACE OTHER THAN THE DWEENLE HAS EVER BEEN ABLE TO LISTEN TO ONE ALL THE WAY THROUGH WITHOUT EITHER FALLING ASLEEP OR BECOMING SUICIDALLY DEPRESSED. *AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER, WE'VE BEEN SLAVES TO ALMOST EVERY OTHER RACE IN THIS SECTOR. AFTER A WHILE, THEY ALWAYS GIVE UP ON US. MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO MAKE US INTO SLAVES TOO, AND TORTURE AND KILL US. GO AHEAD. WHY SHOULD YOU BE ANY DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHERS? *THE ONLY OTHER RACE THAT DOESN'T THOROUGHLY DESPISE US IS THE HUMNA HUMNA, AND THEY ONLY LOOK DOWN ON US. THAT'S BECAUSE WE PROVIDE THEM WITH THE GODMASKS WHICH THEY SELL TO THE TANDELOU. ANY PIECE OF OLD JUNK WE HAVE LYING AROUND WE JUST PUT A STRAP ON AND CALL IT A GODMASK. *THERE IS ONE THING IN THE UNIVERSE THAT CAN MAKE A DWEENLE HAPPY, NOT THAT YOU WOULD CARE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. THAT'S BERRIES FROM A PLANT CALLED A NID BERRY BUSH. THE ONLY PLACE THESE GROW IS ON A PLANET THAT IS IN A SYSTEM IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONSTELLATION OF WHITE STARS IN THE SHAPE OF AN ARROW. THIS IS IN G'NUNK SPACE. *WE DON'T EXPECT YOU TO BRING US ANY NID BERRIES. WHY SHOULD YOU? IT'S A LOT OF TROUBLE AND AFTER ALL, WHO ARE WE? HEY, DON'T GO OUT OF YOUR WAY OR ANYTHING. Other Beings: *MOST OF THE OTHER RACES HATE US. THOSE THAT DON'T HATE US JUST HAVEN'T SPENT MUCH TIME WITH US. IF YOU GET THE URGE TO SHOOT AT US, WE'LL UNDERSTAND-EVERYONE ELSE DOES. *ACTUALLY, THERE WAS ONE RACE THAT WAS NICE TO US A LONG TIME AGO. THEY EVEN BROUGHT US NID BERRIES. THEY WERE THE LOWAR. OF COURSE, THEY WERE DESTROYED. IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, I'M SURE IT WAS OUR FAULT. *WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING ME QUESTIONS? NONE OF THIS MATTERS. YOU DON'T MATTER, I DON'T MATTER. MAYBE I'LL JUST GO TO SLEEP. *I SUPPOSE YOU'VE MET THE HUMNA HUMNA. THEY KNOW MORE ABOUT THE OTHER RACES THAN ANYONE ELSE, SINCE THEY LIKE TO WASTE THEIR TIME TRAVELLING AROUND, BUYING AND SELLING WORTHLESS THINGS, NOT THAT I MEAN TO BE NEGATIVE. THEY LIKE TO PRETEND THEY'RE DIPLOMATS AND AMBASSADORS. *WE'VE BEEN TOLD BY THE HUMNA HUMNA THAT THE ONLY WAY TO DEAL WITH THE G'NUNK IS TO ADOPT A HOSTILE POSTURE. I'M AFRAID WE DWEENLE AREN'T VERY GOOD AT THREATENING ANYBODY. IF IT'S WORTH ANYTHING, THOUGH, WE ARE VERY GOOD AT BEING THREATENED. The Past (Neutral): *WE WEREN'T ALWAYS AS CHEERFUL AS WE ARE NOW. IN THE PAST, WE DWEENLE USED TO BECOME VERY MOROSE AND DEPRESSED. *WE ARE A VERY OLD RACE, AND I GUESS WE KNOW A LOT ABOUT THE DISTANT PAST, BUT WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES ANY OF IT MAKE? WHY SHOULD WE TELL ANYBODY ANYTHING? IT'S TOO MUCH TROUBLE. BESIDES, WE KNOW YOU HATE US. *YOU PROBABLY WANT US TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE ANCIENT LEGHK, SINCE WE USED TO KNOW THEM. WELL, WHY DON'T YOU GO TO ELTHESH AND ASK THE LOWAR THERE WHO STUDY THEM? OH, RIGHT, I FORGOT, THEY'RE ALL DEAD. *IF YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE LEGHK, I'M SURE GORZEK OR THE ARLA BOTH KNOW A LOT OF WHAT THE LOWAR DISCOVERED. OF COURSE, THIS ISN'T HALF OF WHAT WE'VE ALWAYS KNOWN, BUT I DON'T LIKE TO BRAG, SO LET'S JUST DROP THE WHOLE SUBJECT. *SURE, I HAVE AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF INFORMATION ABOUT THE PAST, BUT LET'S BE HONEST, YOU DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT ME. BESIDES, I'M NOT FEELING VERY WELL RIGHT NOW. I'VE GOT A SPLITTING HEADACHE, AND I'VE BEEN A LITTLE IRREGULAR LATELY. *HOW CAN YOU EXPECT A DWEENLE TO THINK STRAIGHT WITH ALL THESE DIFFICULT QUESTIONS? IF ONLY I HAD SOME DELICIOUS NID BERRIES TO INVIGORATE ME. PERHAPS I WILL SING A SAD SONG ABOUT THEM. The Past (Friendly): *WELL, ACCORDING TO OUR LEGENDS, WHICH ARE PROBABLY ALL WRONG ANYWAY, A MILLION YEARS AGO, GIVE OR TAKE A WEEK, THIS REGION OF SPACE WAS INHABITED BY US DWEENLE AND A RACE CALLED THE LEGHK. WE LIVED IN PEACE AND, HERE'S THE UNBELIEVABLE PART, THEY EVEN SEEMED TO LIKE US. *THEN, THE LEGEND GOES, THE LEGHK WERE POSSESSED BY AN AWFUL DEMON. I TOLD YOU THIS WAS PROBABLY WRONG. ANYWAY, THEY STARTED ATTACKING US DWEENLE, WHICH IS UNDERSTANDABLE, BUT THEY ALSO STARTED ATTACKING EACH OTHER. *WITHIN A MATTER OF MONTHS, ALL OF THE LEGHK SOMEHOW CHANGED AND BECAME EXTREMELY HOSTILE. DURING THIS TIME, THE LEGHK WHO WERE SLOWER TO CHANGE TRIED TO RESIST, AND THERE WAS A HORRENDOUS WAR. IN THIS WAR, A SUPERNOVA WAS SET OFF, WHICH CAUSED THE FORMATION OF THE CLOUD. *NOW, GET THIS, THE STORY GOES THAT, JUST BEFORE ALL THE LEGHK WENT BAD, THE FEW LEGHK WHO WERE LEFT, OPENED A DOOR INTO THE FUTURE, IN AN ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE. THEY DIDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH, THOUGH, AND INSTEAD THE DEMON SENT ITS OFFSPRING THROUGH THE DOOR. ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO HEAR ALL THIS? *O.K. WELL. I DIDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP, SO IT'S NOT MY FAULT. LEGEND HAS IT THAT THE FEW REMAINING GOOD LEGHK KNEW THEY WOULD SOON BE DESTROYED OR POSSESSED, SO IN AN ATTEMPT TO SAFEGUARD THE KNOWLEDGE OF THEIR CIVILIZATION, THEY CREATED THE GUARDIAN. *THE GUARDIAN IS A POWERFUL SATELLITE WHICH ORBITS THE PLANET THAT HOUSES THEIR SACRED HALLS OF MEMORY. THIS IS THE REPOSITORY OF ALL LEGHK LEARNING AND CULTURE. TO GET PAST THE GUARDIAN REQUIRES A KEY TRANSMITTER, WHICH, BY THE WAY, THEY ENTRUSTED TO US DWEENLE. PROBABLY IT WAS BECAUSE THEY LIKED US, OR MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE TO GIVE IT TO. *PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE ME TO TELL YOU WHERE THE HALLS OF MEMORY AND THE GUARDIAN KEY TRANSMITTER ARE. BUT THEN AGAIN, WHAT DO I KNOW. MAYBE YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT STUFF. WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE ANYWAY, RIGHT? SORRY, I'LL JUST SHUT UP. *WELL, EVEN IF IT MADE ANY DIFFERENCE WHERE THE TRANSMITTER AND HALLS OF MEMORY WERE, WHICH IT DOESN'T, WE DWEENLE DON'T REMEMBER ANYMORE ANYWAY. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM AN ORAL TRADITION OF STUPID LEGENDS AND DEPRESSING SONGS. *TO FINISH UP THE STORY, IN SPITE OF THE HOSTILE LEGHK CONSTANTLY BLOWING US UP, WE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO SURVIVE. OH, HAPPY DAY. THEN, 40,000 YEARS AGO, STARS BEGAN FLARING IN A WAVE MOVING FROM COREWARD TO OUTWARD, WHO KNOWS WHY. ANYWAY, THE LEGHK FLED OUTWARD. SEEING OUR CHANCE, WE STAYED BEHIND TO MEET OUR FATE AT LONG LAST. SOMEHOW WE STILL MANAGED TO SURVIVE. OH WELL. Trade: *TRADE? WHY SHOULD YOU CARE ABOUT TRADE? EVERYONE IS JUST OUT TO CHEAT YOU ANYWAY, AND NOW THAT SHYNEUM IS BECOMING SCARCE, THE WHOLE ECONOMY IS GOING TO COLLAPSE. JUST AS WELL, I SUPPOSE. *THE HUMNA HUMNA LIKE TO CHEAT US ON A REGULAR BASIS BY SELLING US WORTHLESS, BRIGHTLY COLORED AMUSO-BALLS. THEY'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR GENERATIONS, AND EVERY DWEENLE HAS ROOMS FILLED WITH THEM. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT SAY WE WERE REALLY STUPID. I GUESS THAT'S NO GREAT SURPRISE. *THIS MAY COME AS QUITE A SURPRISE, BUT WE DWEENLE ARE NOT VERY GOOD AT TRADING. IN FACT, WE ENJOY TRADING JUST ABOUT AS MUCH AS I'M ENJOYING THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU. THE ONLY THING WE SEEM TO KNOW MUCH ABOUT IS THE DISTANT PAST, NOT THAT WE CARE MORE ABOUT THAT THAN ANYTHING ELSE. General Info: *I DON'T KNOW ANY MORE. NONE OF THIS MATTERS, ANYWAY. ASK ME ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE. *WHO CARES ABOUT THIS STUFF. CERTAINLY NOT ME. MAYBE SOME OTHER DWEENLE WILL FEEL LIKE TALKING ABOUT THIS SOME MORE. *I'M AFRAID I DON'T KNOW ANY MORE ABOUT THIS. I GUESS I'M JUST STUPID. I SHOULD PROBABLY JUST KILL MYSELF. General Info (Friendly): *WELL, I SUPPOSE SINCE YOU BROUGHT US SOME BERRIES, I COULD EXERT MYSELF AND TELL YOU ONE OR TWO SEMI-INTERESTING THINGS WHICH YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW AND DON'T CARE ABOUT IN THE SLIGHTEST. FOR EXAMPLE, YOU PROBABLY KNOW THAT THERE ARE A COUPLE COLONIZABLE PLANETS IN THE M-CLASS SYSTEM THAT IS DIRECTLY IN THE CENTER OF OUR REGION OF SPACE. *I SUPPOSE YOU ALREADY KNOW ABOUT THE COLONIZABLE PLANET IN SYSTEM 2 X 152. I GUESS I'M JUST PESTERING YOU. SORRY, I'LL SHUT UP. I'M ALWAYS DOING THAT. YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD JUST TELL ME TO SHUT UP. NOW YOU HATE ME. *NO DOUBT YOU'VE ALREADY DISCOVERED THE SAFE WAY TO CROSS THE CLOUD IS VIA THE FLUX AT .......OH FORGET IT. IT'S PROBABLY NOT IMPORTANT. *WELL, THE SAFE FLUX ACROSS THE CLOUD IS AT 69 X 134 AND 173 X 164. TWO OTHER FLUX NODES ARE 29 X 54 AND 229 X 182. I CAN'T SEE A GOOD REASON TO GO ANYWHERE, BUT IF YOU WANT TO, I SUGGEST BUYING THE HUMNA HUMNA FLUX SCAN FROM ONE OF THEIR TRADING POSTS ON THE THIRD PLANET IN SYSTEM 216 X 45. *IT MAY BE OF SOME TINY, MINISCULE, INSIGNIFICANT INTEREST TO KNOW THAT THE CLOUD NEBULA WAS FORMED ABOUT A MILLION YEARS AGO WHEN A SMALL CLUSTER OF 6 STARS WENT SUPERNOVA. *PERHAPS YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THE NAMES OF VARIOUS CONSTELLATIONS, SUCH AS 'THE HOOK' AT 55 X 190, 'THE WEE DIPPER' AT 53 X 31, 'THE FALLEN STAR' AT 105 X 17, 'THE TOPAZ CLUSTER' AT 105 X 74, OR 'THE NGA-SENG' CLUSTER AT 202 X 105. OF COURSE, THESE ARE OF NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER TO US. The Past Neutral Hail: *IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK, THAT'S OK BY ME. I'LL JUST GO AND SOAK MY HEAD. I'M NOT SURE WHY I EVEN BOTHER COMING OUT HERE AT ALL. I SUPPOSE I SHOULD MENTION THAT THIS IS THE DWEENLE SHIP (SHIP NAME), AS IF YOU REALLY CARE. *SIGH. THIS IS CAPTAIN (NAME) OF THE DWEENLE SHIP (SHIP NAME), IF YOU CAN CALL THIS PIECE OF JUNK A SHIP. I SUPPOSE YOU'RE PROBABLY ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE STRANGE SHIPS FROM THE FUTURE AND YOU'RE LOOKING FOR INFORMATION. YOU'RE THE SECOND ONE THIS MONTH. Friendly Hail: *OH HAPPY DAY. IT'S CAPTAIN (PLAYER NAME). YOU HAVE RETURNED TO BRING US MORE NID BERRIES. FINALLY SOMEONE WHO REALLY CARES ABOUT US. UNLESS ... PERHAPS YOU WERE JUST FAKING BEFORE. MAYBE YOU DIDN'T BRING US MORE BERRIES. MAYBE YOU DO HATE US. Hostile Response: *WE THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO COME BACK FOR A LITTLE TARGET PRACTICE , SO WE THOUGHT WE'D JUST WAIT HERE AND SAVE YOU THE TROUBLE OF LOOKING FOR US. FEEL FREE TO BLOW US UP AT ANY TIME. OH, AND WE EXPECT YOU'LL WANT TO VERBALLY ABUSE US FIRST, SO JUST GO RIGHT AHEAD. *I AM DWEENLE (NAME). SOMETHING TELLS ME THAT YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO INTIMIDATE US. I MIGHT SUGGEST THAT YOU DESTROY ONE OR TWO OF OUR SHIPS. THAT USUALLY PROVES PRETTY EFFECTIVE, BUT IF WANT TO BE REALLY SURE, I'D JUST WIPE US ALL OUT. Neutral Response: *ALRIGHT, I SUPPOSE I CAN TALK FOR A FEW MINUTES. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO. THIS IS (NAME) OF THE DWEENLE SHIP (SHIP NAME). SINCE YOU HAVEN'T STARTED SHOOTING AT US, I ASSUME YOU WANT TO PUMP US FOR INFORMATION. FINE. IT DOESN'T MATTER. NOTHING MATTERS. Friendly Responses: *HURRAH. HURRAH. IT'S OUR BEST FRIEND AND LIFELONG PAL (PLAYER NAME). WE KNEW YOU WOULD COME BACK. NOW YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO LEAVE US, ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL? *I AM DWEENLE (NAME). I LOOK FORWARD TO RECEIVING THE NID BERRIES YOU HAVE BROUGHT FOR ME. YOU ARE A TRUE FRIEND (PLAYER NAME). Farewell Statement: *THAT'S IT FOR ME. I'M OUTTA HERE. Statements: (Neutral) *WAS THERE ANYTHING ELSE? *YES? *YAWN *SIGH Statements (Friendly): *THANK YOU, THANK YOU. YOU ARE TOO KIND. PLEASE ACCEPT THIS SHYNEUM. Awaiting Response: *WELL? Don't Know: *WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE ANYWAY? *MAYBE SOME OTHER DWEENLE KNOWS MORE THAN I DO. Themselves: *PLEASE DON'T ASK US ABOUT OURSELVES. IT REALLY IS JUST TOO DEPRESSING. IF YOU'D LIKE SOME GENERAL INFORMATION THOUGH, I SUPPOSE I COULD TELL YOU ABOUT THE LEGHK, THOUGH THAT'S PRETTY DEPRESSING TOO. ARE YOU SURE YOU WOULDN'T LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT THE LEGHK? Other Beings: *WELL, I'M AFRAID ALL I KNOW IS SOME RATHER GENERAL INFORMATION ABOUT THE LEGHK. IT'S NOT VERY INTERESTING, BUT I SUPPOSE I COULD TELL YOU ANYWAY, IF YOU WERE INTERESTED IN GENERAL INFORMATION, BUT I GUESS YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT. Trade: *TRADE? WELL, I GUESS WE USED TO TRADE WITH THE LEGHK. ANYWAY, THEY USED TO FEEL SORRY FOR US AND GAVE US THINGS. I GUESS THAT'S TRADE. I COULD TELL YOU MORE ABOUT THEM IF YOU WANTED SOME GENERAL INFORMATION. The Past: *I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE PAST. THAT'S WHEN WE USED TO BE HAPPY. WELL, NOT HAPPY EXACTLY, BUT LESS WRETCHEDLY MISERABLE THAN WE ARE NOW. ACTUALLY, COME TO THINK OF IT, I SUPPOSE WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN THIS WRETCHEDLY MISERABLE. WELL, I STILL DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE PAST. *OH, SO YOU DON'T CARE HOW I FEEL. WELL, THAT'S NO SURPRISE. IF YOU WANT INFORMATION THAT BADLY, I COULD TELL YOU SOME MARGINALLY INTERESTING GENERAL INFORMATION TYPE THINGS ABOUT THE LEGHK. General Info (Friendly): *WELL, I SUPPOSE NONE OF THIS REALLY MATTERS MUCH. ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO HEAR THIS? ... *O.K., WELL, A FEW MONTHS AGO SOME CREATURE, OR THING THE LEGHK CALL 'THE UHL' APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE AND BEGAN EXERTING SOME KIND OF TELEPATHIC CONTROL OVER THE LEGHK. *FOR SOME REASON THE UHL HASN'T BOTHERED US. OF COURSE, WHY SHOULD IT WANT TO DOMINATE US? WHAT GOOD ARE WE? WELL, WE'RE PRETTY USED TO BEING IGNORED ANYWAY. *THE GREATER THE INTELLIGENCE OF THE INDIVIDUAL LEGHK, THE LONGER IT TAKES FOR THE UHL TO INSINUATE ITS CONTROL. THERE ARE ONLY ABOUT 50 LEGHK LEFT NOW WHO HAVEN'T BEEN TAKEN OVER. *THOSE WHO ARE TAKEN OVER IMMEDIATELY CEASE ALL COMMUNICATIONS AND BECOME EXTREMELY HOSTILE. AT FIRST WE JUST THOUGHT THEY HAD GOTTEN UNDERSTANDABLY TIRED OF US. *IN THE PAST MONTHS TREMENDOUS WARFARE HAS ENSUED AS THE UNDOMINATED LEGHK HAVE ATTEMPTED TO FIND AND DESTROY THE UHL, WHILE THE DOMINATED ONES TRY TO DEFEND IT. MANY BILLIONS OF LIVES HAVE BEEN LOST IN THE FIGHTING. OH, THIS IS GETTING ME RATHER DEPRESSED. *THE LEGHK ARE NORMALLY A THOUGHTFUL AND PEACEFUL RACE. SOMETIMES THEY WERE EVEN NICE TO US. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? THEY HOLD SACRED, ABOVE ALL ELSE, THEIR SCIENCE AND PHILOSOPHY, WHICH ARE ESSENTIALLY ONE AND THE SAME. OF COURSE YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT THE LEAST BIT INTERESTED IN DWEENLE SCIENCE AND PHILOSOPHY. WHY SHOULD YOU BE? *THEIR MOST SACRED OF PLACES, AND THE HUB OF THEIR ENTIRE CIVILIZATION IS THE HALLS OF MEMORY, A VAST STRUCTURE THAT HOUSES THE TOTAL SUM OF ALL LEGHK LEARNING. CONTROL OF THIS PLACE MEANS GREAT DESTRUCTIVE POWER, AND THE REMAINING LEGHK ARE AFRAID THAT THE UHL WILL GET CONTROL OF IT. *SINCE THE LEGHK WHO PROGRAMMED THE GUARDIAN KNEW THAT HE TOO WOULD SOON BE UNDER THE UHL'S CONTROL, HE CREATED A TRANSMITTER KEY. THEN HE HID THE TRANSMITTER AND KILLED HIMSELF. SINCE WE DWEENLE ARE THE ONLY OTHERS AROUND, HE LEFT THE LOCATION OF THE KEY TRANSMITTER WITH US. *I GUESS HE DIDN'T TRUST US, NOT THAT I BLAME HIM, BECAUSE THE LEGHK WHO TOLD US THE LOCATION OF THE KEY TRANSMITTER TOLD IT TO US IN THE FORM OF A RIDDLE, THINKING THAT WE WOULDN'T BE SMART ENOUGH TO FIGURE IT OUT. *I SUPPOSE HE WAS PROBABLY RIGHT ABOUT US NOT BEING ABLE TO FIGURE OUT THE RIDDLE, BUT AS FAR AS I KNOW NOBODY'S EVER CARED ENOUGH TO TRY. ANYWAY, HERE'S THE RIDDLE HE LEFT WITH US- ROUND A FALLEN STAR OF FOUR - IS A WORLD OF HUMMING STONES - HERE WHERE NOTHING MEETS NOTHING - THE TRANSMITTER AWAITS OUR RETURN. PRETTY STUPID RIDDLE, HUH? *NOT THAT YOU PROBABLY CARE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER, BUT WE TOLD ALL THIS TO ANOTHER SHIP OF ALIENS, WHO BY THE WAY WERE MUCH NICER THAN YOU ARE. THEIR SHIP WAS CALLED THE ELTHAR-ESH. ---- NEXT: G'Nunk PREVIOUS: Humna Humna TOP ----